I Can't Deal With People, Not Even When Good Food Is On The Line

One of the hardest things for me to do is to have a straight-up deal. People always want to add bullshit, adjust parameters, play dumb, try to game, avoid compromise, assume favorable positions, and just behave in disingenuous manners. I think people don't believe what I actually say for some reason. 

 For example, I was going to meet up to eat at a cool restaurant with someone that I hadn't seen in a while. (We were both into checking out cool food places.) We were going to work out some things and catch up. The deal was that we would both split the bill for the dinner. Later on, though, they said that the meeting would be a part of their birthday week. I didn't think think much of it. 

 A few days later I hopped into heavy LA traffic to make my way to the meetup. I got a call and then a text while I was driving, so I pulled over and returned the call. Turns out the person was just checking on my ETA. Cool. But somewhere in the quick banter, the birthday week was mentioned again. I had to call the person on that little bit of verbal subterfuge. Well then they confessed that they expected me to pay for dinner. I hung up, got back in the car, and turned around. That relationship is basically over now.

 So yeah, I've been told that I'm hard to deal with. I've also been told that I'm quite particular. Whatever. If getting things in order is a problem when you're dealing with people's money, time, energy, etc. then life around me will be a problem. Going forward, I'm going to be much MORE of a hardass in dealing with clown behavior. But I'm in a happier place, so I'll be less of a grump about it. The blows will come faster, but will feel softer. 

It's 2019. 
Let's go.

Behind The Scenes Is My Scene

As much as I like culture, community, and groups, I really don't get down with a lot of social activities, I get down with popular energy. There's a difference. I really like the behind the scenes stuff. I like the process, the building, the construction, the planning, and the stuff that makes it happen. I also like to work with other people that are doing things that make sense. Discussing different aspects of development isn't work to me. It's fun. THAT would be my social work. All the yakkity yak of traditional marketing isn't my thing.

That kinda makes me feel a bit misaligned in today's climate. It seems like the product matters so much less when the modus operandi is to steal flavor and market hype. Of course, this is a result of the power of the Internet. I'm not mad at it, but I would be lying if I didn't state that

It's like church. I used to like the scriptures, the free breakfasts, the songs, the sermons, and everything that goes into the production. But standing around talking about what Jenny Mae did last week? Miss me with that. Worrying about how nice your car and outfit is? Bullshit. Lying to the congregation? You can go to Hell. Give me the nuts and bolts.

So do I want to be a hermit? Nah. I'd just like to see a different type of community that isn't so reliant on the nonsense side of the extrovert lifestyle.

I confuse a lot of people with that kind of talk, but I don't give a shit.

Well, I'm just putting thoughts out there. Maybe we can start building some type of communities where the hype about the thing doesn't have to be the thing at the end of the day. Or maybe I need to work harder at understanding what's going on in the world now. My mother saw the direction I was going in and warned me, but I didn't understand what was going on. Now it's painfully obvious that she saw me for what I was: a cool-ass loner that would be okay with leaving a situation instead of working within it.

P.S. I'm currently thinking that a YouTube page would be more effective than typing words into a blogspot page, but I'm not ready for that level of...uh...creation.